This is honestly more embarrassing to admit now that I am writing it out. Sigh, and it’s only embarrassing because of what I’m addicted to. If I was addicted to reading the bible, I wouldn’t feel so silly about it. Not at all, honestly.
And it’s not like I’m listening to the love reading ones. I don’t believe in the love readings at all. I mean, who would? Unless you are asking about a particular person that you know and are dating, you shouldn’t believe it. Even then, ask the person you are involved with at the very end to further get insight. But, when it talks about random people who you don’t talk to AT ALL (exes are included in this category); then, it’s just like fluff.
Dopamine
No, I’m addicted to tarot readings because I use them as fuel. I listen to the motivating ones. The ones that are like “you’re about to be a millionaire TONIGHT baby!” Like yeaaaaaa!! Tell me how I’m about to win big on the lottery or how I am making the right decision pursuing content creation! Something! Hype me up.
Make me feel good! Thank you! Everyone is obsessed with me! What? Of course my ex is realizing what he’s missing out on! Yesss! I can do it on my own.
Yes, I am also aware of the ones that speak such negativity. I don’t listen to that shit. In fact, I do the exact opposite. If it’s not even remotely positive, I shut down the whole channel. I have seen readers who are having a bad day and they have a negative reading.
Not to mention them going on a rant about their bad experiences DURING the reading. I mean, I don’t mind listening to people and how they relate to the reading, that helps. It gives power to the experience (personal power by confirming that this is possible). But when they go on a tangent and express how they had such a horrible day at work and then show all this anger while reading a negative, spiteful reading. It’s clear what’s being channeled with the easy access of you via your emotional state.
So, I truly focus on the good ones. I’ve read a lot of them to know who I like to listen to and who I don’t.
My Point
See? I bet most of you don’t even know WHO to pick! But, yeah…I do. I watch and listen and subscribe and analyze and consume SO MUCH of readers and their content….IT’S ALMOST ALL I DO! Completely not true. I obviously write blogs, create music videos for my childern’s music channel. I write the music.
There’s also two little boys that are fully of energy. They take up so much of my time–naps, three meals plus snacks, maintenance (personal hygiene and custodial), emotional support system, teacher, security guard, etc.
Regardless, I still have made time (sometimes in the middle of the night) to listen to readings. I wake up and listen to them, yes! After my morning block schedule with the kids, my headphones go on and I’m making breakfast and cleaning while listening. It’s like a horror podcast or some good reggaetón music.
I still hear my kids during this time, unfortunately. So, I don’t really HEAR everything that is said, but when I zone in–they say some encouraging stuff.
And that’s something I live for. I DIE FOR! Okay, enough being dramatic. I just really like listening, okay. Obviously, I have a problem. This is the first step…to acknowledge it…right?
And with that, hopefully, I’ll be able to continue onto step two. Until then, I’m going to put my headphones on underneath my bonnet so my kids don’t see I’m wearing them and just assume I’m fully giving them my attention. Twenty four seven…non stop, no matter if it’s independent play time or while I’m in the shower…it’s never ending unless they are asleep. And even then sometimes…
Ahh! Sweet released